I SAT AT the kitchen table, staring blankly at the wall as the weight of the morning settled in. Upstairs, my teenager struggled to face another day. As a psychologist, I thought I understood youth mental health. But nothing prepared me for my own child’s crisis—or the toll it would take on me as a parent. Despite having knowledge and resources beyond what many parents possess, I felt utterly helpless.
The youth mental health crisis has rightfully gained attention, but we’re overlooking a critical aspect: the urgent need to support parents, who are the invisible first responders in this epidemic. While we rightly focus on helping struggling youth, we must also recognize that supporting parents is crucial for effective mental health care.
According to the CDC, more than 40 percent of high school students report feeling persistently sad or hopeless, and suicide is now the second leading cause of death among youth aged 10 to 24. With the rapid rise in mental health concerns, the system is overwhelmed—and so are parents.
The Surgeon General’s recent advisory warned that parental stress levels have reached a crisis point. In May, a Massachusetts poll conducted for the Education Trust by the MassINC Polling Group found that nearly half of parents in the state are deeply concerned about their children’s mental health. Yet the current system is overly focused on the child in crisis, often neglecting the parents’ wellbeing.
Some argue that focusing on parents diverts resources from youth, while others believe parents should be resilient enough to manage these challenges without additional support. These perspectives fail to recognize that burnt-out, overwhelmed parents cannot provide the stable, nurturing environment that children in crisis need.
To address this crisis effectively, we need a systemic approach that recognizes parents as individuals in need of support, not just caregivers for their children.
Parents are often thrust into the role of primary care coordinators, navigating health care systems that can be impersonal and overwhelming. Too often, I’ve been asked about my child’s symptoms and insurance details, with no acknowledgment of my own stress or wellbeing. What if those conversations started with, “How are you holding up?”
A simple but powerful solution could be implementing a parent wellness check at each session. This would involve a brief, standardized assessment of the parent’s mental health and stress levels, with referrals to support services when necessary. I will never forget the provider who said to me, “It can be very challenging to parent a child in crisis. What supports do you have in place for yourself?” That moment of validation was a lifeline.
Employers and insurers must also play a role by offering paid time off and flexible work hours to all employees so parents can accompany their children to provider visits or simply take a moment to catch their breath. I have spent hours juggling appointments, navigating insurance, managing medications, and communicating with providers. This work is exhausting, and it pulls parents away from other responsibilities, including their own self-care. With the right policies in place, parents can manage these responsibilities without sacrificing their own health.
Over the past three years, my child has made progress, and so have I. I’m grateful for the support my family has found in our team of professionals. But this shouldn’t be the exception—it should be the norm.
The youth mental health crisis is also a parent mental health crisis. By supporting parents, we’re not just helping adults—we’re laying the foundation for healthier families and a more resilient society. It’s time to recognize that the wellbeing of our children and the wellbeing of their parents are inextricably linked. Our families’ futures depend on it.
Luba Falk Feigenberg is a psychologist and educator, founder of Reframe Evaluation, and a faculty member at William James College. She is an alumna of the Institute for Nonprofit Practice‘s core certificate program for emerging nonprofit leaders, and took part in CommonWealth Beacon’s New Voices training program on effective op-ed writing, a partnership with the Civic Action Project and the Institute for Nonprofit Practice.
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