Judge Matthew Larock asked Ryan Soto if he had a statement to make. Soto was sitting next to 11-year-old Gabriel in a Torrington court room on Friday, finalizing his adoption.
Soto stood up and turned toward the gallery. The courtroom benches were filled with family members and case workers from the state Department of Children and Families, wearing proud smiles. This was a good day.
First, Soto thanked the many people who had helped make the adoption a reality. Then, he looked at his son.
“Gabe, I am honored that you came into my life. You are such an intelligent, kind kid. Thank you for making room in your heart for me as your dad, because we all have options here,” Soto said. Then, Soto addressed the rest of the room, and even the imagined audience that might be listening beyond:
“There’s so many kids out there and a lot of older youth, they need help, and oftentimes we forget that they are still kids. They still yearn for love and family. So, we can make a difference. I didn’t do this alone — we made a difference in Gabe’s life.”
Soto gave Gabriel a kiss on the forehead and took a seat.
Gabriel was one of 40 children who were adopted across Connecticut on Friday, CT Adoption Day. DCF spokesman Peter Yazbak said that around 350 children are expected to be adopted this year in Connecticut.
DCF Commissioner Jodi Hill-Lilly joined the ceremonies in Torrington on Friday, with balloons, toys and cake to celebrate. Once Soto finished his comments, Hill-Lilly said a few words.
“What a tribute. I just personally want to say thank you for stepping up and doing what I consider to be God’s work,” Hill-Lilly said. Hill-Lilly urged other families to consider taking on a fostering role.
“I would be remiss if I didn’t say you too can be an adoptive or a foster parent,” Hill-Lilly said.
After the ceremony ended, Soto shared a little more of his journey to adopting Gabriel. As a gay man who wanted to be a dad, “for obvious reasons it wasn’t happening naturally.” So, he started considering fostering a child to adopt, and imagined a kid under 5 years old.
But then, DCF sent him Gabriel’s profile, a 9-year-old looking for a forever home. “I said why not? Let me give him a chance.”
There were challenges. Gabriel had a hard time building trust with Soto, and sometimes grated against his rules. Those, Soto said, are typical challenges with older kids. “But when that wall comes down, it’s a big wall.”
That wall started to come down when Soto attended an awards ceremony at Gabriel’s school. “He was able to count on someone to be there, and I think from there he started trusting — trusting that somebody could care,” Soto said.
Gabriel is still in contact with his biological family. His 4-year-old half-sibling, Elias, who had been adopted by another family, was also present at the event.
DCF has made a major effort in recent years to place children with relatives if they can’t remain with their birth parents. That means the number of children eligible for adoption to non-biological families has gone down. But there remains a bigger need for foster parents who are willing to serve as temporary placements for children who may need a home until they can return to their families.
Natalia Liriano, the director of foster care for DCF, said that many of the children who do need adoptive homes may be older children, or children with significant health issues. People can learn more about those kids by visiting the DCF Heart Gallery page.
“We’re talking about teenagers who can give you a run for your money but they still need love and they still are deserving of being in relationships, children with medically complex needs who need to be in longstanding relationships,” Liriano said.
Earlier on Friday, 1-year-old Corrina was adopted by mom Michelle Gonzalez. Corrina, dressed in a pink tutu, took to the courtroom like a massive play area. She batted at the heart-shaped balloons, smiled at reporters, enjoyed bites of cake, and hugged her mom when it all got to be too much.
When the ceremony was over, Richard Federico, a judicial marshall walked through the court room, taking in the happy faces and tutu-clad toddler.
“This is probably the best thing to happen here,” he said.