‘I just thought we were better than that and we aren’t’

Susan J. Demas

Content warning: This story contains discussion of suicide. The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week,

What had been just a theoretical blueprint for an authoritarian takeover of the federal government is now a looming reality, with trans individuals squarely in the crosshairs.

Although there was extensive reporting about the Heritage Foundation’s Project 2025, the 922-page mandate that promises to overhaul government agencies and “restore the American family as the centerpiece of American life and protect our children,” and its multiple connections to President-elect Donald Trump, it failed to sway a majority of American voters.

But among the groups who are alarmed at the prospect of a Project 2025-driven agenda, are trans individuals, particularly trans kids. 

“These kids don’t know where to turn,” said Kim Dorey of Ann Arbor, who is parenting two trans kids. “They’re scared outside their house. They’re scared inside their house. They’re scared at school. They’re scared at the doctor. They’re scared at church. They’re scared at the store. So where are they safe?”

The fears of trans individuals are now a palpable reality with the expected implementation by the incoming Trump administration of Project 2025, which specifically targets their health and well-being, beginning with seeking to outlaw their very existence.

On the first page of the document, it says that in “America under the ruling and cultural elite … children suffer the toxic normalization of transgenderism with drag queens and pornography invading their school libraries.”

The document equates “transgender ideology” with pornography, which it says should be outlawed, further claiming it, along with “critical race theory … poison our children” and that it denies “the givenness of our nature as men and women.”

Project 2025 also said that educators and public librarians who “purvey” even just the concept of being transgender “should be classed as registered sex offenders,” while labeling as “child abuse” parents or physicians who “reassign” the sex of a minor, an ambiguous enough description to cover all forms of gender-affirming care.

In the face of that explicit intent to undermine and assault trans rights, organizations that serve the trans community are girding for what lies ahead. 

“There are a lot of people in panic mode,” said Roz Keith, founder and executive director of Stand with Trans, who told the Advance that the group’s phones started ringing the morning after the election at 6:30 a.m.

“One caller was in tears. They needed crisis management. They were petrified,” she said. “The best we can do in those situations is to refer people to the crisis resources. We don’t provide crisis management. We don’t have a crisis line, but we have that handy because people need that,” she said.

Keith noted that Stand with Trans now has a mental health therapy program with two therapists who can see clients anywhere in Michigan through either telehealth appointments or in-person two days a week in Brighton.

Either way, people are struggling to understand what the future may hold for them.

“A lot of families are wondering how they’re going to protect their kids. Families wondering how they’re going get access to gender affirming care. There are young people, adults who want to know what’s going to happen if same sex marriage is dissolved? What will happen to their legal unions? There are so many concerns right now, and many of those concerns don’t have immediate answers because we just don’t know what’s going to happen. But we know that people need support, and they need to know that there is a place to go,” she said.

Keith says families with trans loved ones are now left to wonder what will happen if their child is in the middle of getting gender-affirming hormones, but their supply is cut off. 

“People are stockpiling now. They’re going to stockpile pregnancy tests. They’re going to stockpile Plan B pills. They’re going to stockpile their HRT (hormone replacement therapy) if they can,” said Keith. “I know someone who’s been doing this for a while now. They have been stretching out their weekly meds to maybe every ten days, so they end up with a little extra if they can’t get it [in the future].”

‘A population of scared people’

Dorey, meanwhile, says she has spent the better part of a decade navigating the health care system for her children, but the concerns extend beyond gender-affirming care to needs that are more basic.

“When we talk about people that identify as transgender, we’re not only talking about what they look like or where they go to the bathroom. And when we’re talking about health care, they still have migraines or ulcers or whatever. They need good health care and doctors that can understand how to talk to them and treat them,” she said.

Dorey says once parents understand their child is trans and needs help, there are many aspects that they absolutely have to turn to medical professionals to provide. 

“You cannot do it alone. So you have to go to your pediatrician. You have to go to a social worker or therapist, whatever you’ve got to do,” she said. 

But Dorey says the targeting in the last several years of health care professionals who provide any form of gender-affirming care, compounded by concerns over new restrictions under a new Trump administration, has taken its toll.  

“They’re scared,” she said of the medical professionals. “So, now you’ve got a population of scared people getting treated from scared people. It’s not going to work.”

Dorey has found that most people lack a basic understanding of the issues involved with trans kids, starting with the mental health toll exacted by a society that actively targets them.

“I’ve found that if parents literally haven’t lifted their kid off the ground or called 911 or had to house a friend because their parents kicked them out of their house, or because they don’t feel safe because their mom married this person that they don’t feel comfortable with, they don’t get it and what happens to them or someone they love,” she said. “And until somebody opens up and shares that those things have happened. They won’t get it.”

According to The Trevor Project, 41% of LGBTQ+ young people seriously consider suicide, with transgender and non-binary youth reporting even higher rates. Meanwhile, only about half of transgender and nonbinary young people found their school to be gender-affirming, and those who did reported lower rates of attempting suicide.

The concerns and fears extend beyond just those portions of Project 2025 that explicitly target trans kids, but also those portions that would have devastating secondary effects.

Lori Grover of Morrice in Shiawassee County has a 16-year-old trans daughter who is on the autism spectrum.  

“One good thing about her disability is that she doesn’t understand or really see the hate and vitriol targeting her and others like her and is unaffected at this time,” Grover told the Advance.

Grover says her daughter has an individualized education program (IEP), a written document for students with disabilities outlining their educational needs and any programs or services the district can provide to help them make educational progress. She worries that dismantling the Department of Education, as called for in Project 2025, will have a direct negative impact on her daughter.

 “While she has experienced some bullying at school, it’s been addressed and she has a lot of support from other classmates and the staff, even with her starting a new school this year with kids who are aware of her trans status,” said Grover. “The new administration’s policies will have a huge impact on her rights, safety, health and education.  I worry that the current protections she has at school will be discarded at a national level, forcing our state to implement those changes.”

Grover said that beyond the fear about Project 2025, she has anger toward those who have enabled the targeting of her daughter, including friends and family members.

“I am still processing how I want to proceed in any relationship with these people,” she said.  

‘Mind-boggling, willful ignorance’

Dorey says she, too, has anger, but has focused her energies into co-hosting the “Moms 4 Trans Kids” podcast with Dr. Lulu, a queer Nigerian pediatrician and mother of a transgender child.

“We’re supporting our kids and we don’t give a f–k what anybody else thinks,” she said. “Your opinions do not matter. Your science-based facts, opinions, and guidance are appreciated. That’s it.”

However, the fears and anger extend beyond just those who are trans, but to many others in the LGBTQ+ community.

Jared Bickford and his husband live in Howell, located in deep red Livingston County. He says their anger is not about the politics as much as it is about Trump himself, who they believe has mainstreamed hate toward them.

“We are devastated by the outcome of the election,” he said. “Fearful for our friends, both in the LGBTQ+ community, as well as the sexual assault victims we know. I consider myself to be an independant, and don’t always vote Democrat, but I really can’t believe where we are today.”

Bickford said while his father and sister have always been supportive of the fact that he’s gay, they still voted for Trump and the policies for which Project 2025 advocates.

“[Trump] has normalized bullying people,” said Bickford. “He enables hate. He certainly has many followers that are decent people, [and] love and support me everyday, yet turn a blind eye to the damaging comments as if they don’t mean anything. It is mind-boggling, willful ignorance.”

Madison LeMieux of East Lansing echoed that feeling of confusion as to how so many people do not seem to understand the hostility they see being aimed at them.

As an openly bisexual woman who grew up in the conservative community of Fowlerville, LeMieux said she wasn’t surprised by the outcome of the election as much as she was disappointed.

“I am just shocked that we clearly don’t learn as a society and we still don’t care about people that we perceive to be different than ourselves. There is a very clear difference between a difference in opinion and a difference in values and that’s exactly what makes it so hard to maintain a friendship with people who voted for someone that wouldn’t see me as a person, let alone an equal,” she told the Advance. 

“By electing a sexist, homophobic, and transphobic fascist, voters of Trump have shown they do not give a single f–k about the rights of the LGBTQ+ community,” said LeMieux. “I have been let down by both my community and my country and I don’t know how to restore that faith. I just thought we were better than that and we aren’t.”

‘We were built for this moment’

With the election over Equality Michigan is now focused on the immediate action that can be taken in Lansing, Executive Director Erin Knott said. 

“We know that the winning candidate’s platform featured a number of attacks on the transgender community, particularly regarding access to health care and fair treatment in schools,” said Knott. “I think it’s critical that organizations like Equality Michigan … we were built for this moment, right? We’ve faced challenges before. We’re ready. 

“It’s critical that we continue to stand up for our community, including the most vulnerable members of our community, which is the trans and non-binary individuals, especially our kids, and and we’re going to do that by pushing back at all times on disinformation and mistruths, which were very much a part of the presidential campaign,” Knott continued.

Knott said from Equality Michigan’s standpoint, its mission is now more focused than ever. 

“We’re going to be vocal advocates against LGBTQ+ hate. You’ll see us lifting up leaders who support equal rights and continuing our ACE [Advocates for Community Empowerment] program to support victims of bias and hate crimes.”

Of more immediate concern, Knott said, will be moving legislative priorities across the finish line. While the Michigan House lost its Democratic majority in the Nov. 5 election, which makes it much more difficult to move forward pro-LGBTQ+ legislation, lawmakers have until the end of the year to get things accomplished before the Republican majority takes control in January.

Equality Michigan backs House Bills 5300, 5301, 5302 and 5303 which would remove some of the requirements placed on Michiganders when they change their name outside of marriage, as well as make it easier for a person to select the sex marker they feel is appropriate for them on their birth certificate and driver’s license.

The bills were reported out of the House Judiciary Committee in February, but still await floor votes. The lead sponsor of that legislation is state Rep. Laurie Pohutsky (D-Livonia).

“There were always going to be some things that we are going to try and tie up during the lame duck session, and now we also have the added need of trying to address things that we know a Republican House majority will not address, as well as try to provide some safeguards for an incoming Trump presidency. So, the work has expanded greatly, both caucus wide and certainly for me personally,” said Pohutsky, a member of the Michigan Legislative LGBTQ+ Caucus.

Pohutsky said her top priority is doing everything possible to provide protections in Michigan for marginalized groups.

“I think the next four years are going to be incredibly difficult for the LGBTQ community, particularly our trans family members. And I know the level of fear that I have right now, and I say that as somebody who has a lot of privilege and safety because of the fact that I’m a cisgender bisexual white woman in a straight-presenting relationship. I can’t imagine what it feels like to be a trans person right now. It is terrifying,” she said.

“And it is going to call for a lot of courage from policymakers to set aside what was said in the election cycle and just do what needs to be done because we need to protect members of the community right now.”