Mon. Dec 23rd, 2024

Knox County Commissioner Andy Fox could find himself surprised by ghostly visitors. (Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

Knox County Commissioner Andy Fox could find himself surprised by ghostly visitors. (Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

Knox County Commissioner Andy Fox is relatively new at the job; he started in September. However, the South Knoxville Republican certainly is making a name for himself by pushing a nonsensical idea: he wants to turn down federal money.

Fox thinks that would be a good way to pressure the federal government to stop spending and borrowing so much. Other commissioners of all political stripes have gently reminded him federal dollars are really helpful for things like. local programs such as school lunches, programs for the disabled, highways and other infrastructure. Knox County receives more than $109 million a year.

Fox recently said that he’d prefer churches and charities take on some of those things. He just as easily could have been saying lines from Ebenezer Scrooge in Charles Dickens’s A Christmas Carol. Two portly gentlemen ask Scrooge for some slight provision for the poor and destitute. Scrooge instead asks about prisons and workhouses. The gentlemen say they wish to buy the poor some meat and drink and some means of warmth.

Scrooge blurts, “I don’t make merry myself at Christmas and I can’t afford to make idle people merry. I help to support the establishments I have mentioned: they cost enough: and those who are badly off must go there.”

Knox County Commissioner Andy Fox (Photo: Knox County Government)
Knox County Commissioner Andy Fox (Photo: Knox County Government)

“Many can’t go there; and many would rather die,” said one of the men.

“If they would rather die,” said Scrooge, “they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population.”

Thus, it would not be surprising if several ghosts appeared to Fox as he struggles through a tormented sleepless night.

“Andy Fox,” bellows one ghost dressed in a snazzy three-piece suit. “I am the ghost of accountancy past. Have you forgotten the huge federal tax breaks for millionaires and billionaires?”

“Of course not,” stammers Fox. “I supported those breaks. The rich are wise and wonderful and must be encouraged to make our economy boom.” 

“Foolish trickle down!” yells the ghost. “You keep making this same error. Will you not admit it drives up deficits so you can use the deficits to slash away at everything else? Just admit to yourself, you prefer helping the rich, rather than all those poor people who you never see on the golf course or at your fundraisers.”

“No, no, no,” pleads Fox, pressing his pillow against his head and rolling side to side in terror. “Vex me no more, spirit.”

Using a handkerchief to wipe off the cold sweat on his brow, he falls back into slumber, as a second ghost calls to him. “Andy Fox. I am the ghost of current research.” The ghost’s outfit bears the signs of academia, including a commencement gown and mortarboard cap. 

“Andy, let me show you these calculations and international comparisons. Deficit and 

debt are relative. You must compare it to something like Gross Domestic Product. The U.S. isn’t nearly as troubled as you keep saying, and a lot of the problem goes away if the rich pay a fair share like they did decades ago.”

“I must reject your research, spirit,” sputters Fox.

“That doesn’t mean it goes away, even if I do,” declared the ghost as it faded into oblivion.

Fox clutches his blanket and turns his face to the pillows. He fears another ghost but is surprised to see a small child reaching out to him with a plate in one hand and a cup in the other.

“Commissioner, I am the ghost of future policy.” Just then his stomach lets out a large growl. “I do better in school when I’m fed a good breakfast and a good lunch. My family is poor and hard working,” explains the ghost. “Do not harm us. Repent.”

Fox pushes the boy away, grabs his county commission laptop and renews his resolution to refuse federal funds. His kind of delusion is a Dickens of a problem, and very common. Tennessee House Speaker Cameron Sexton in 2023 formed a group to study rejecting nearly $1.9 billion in federal funds for schools. That’s something no state has ever done, and for good reason. That money can make up as much as 10% of the yearly budget allocation for schools.

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