Hundreds of people gathered at Washington Square Park in New Orleans on March 31, 2023, for a march to mark Transgender Day of Visibility. Photo by Greg LaRose | Louisiana Illuminator
My favorite moments of the week are when I’m driving my kid’s carpool to high school. Along the way, I hear my son and his friends chattering about mundane high school experiences — both happy and frustrated — and I am so grateful to be a mom.
Unfortunately, an upcoming Supreme Court case could upend the lives of every single kid in my carpool — just because they’re happiest living outside of the role of the gender they were assigned at birth. Just because they’re transgender.
Once again, the court is trying to put itself between patients and doctors. But this time, they’re going after our kids, and all Arizona parents should be concerned.
At the heart of the case that the Supreme Court will review this month is Tennessee’s ban on medically necessary gender-affirming care for transgender youth. It’s easy for me to see myself in plaintiffs Samantha and Brian Williams and their 16-year-old transgender daughter, who just want to preserve the happy life they’ve built thanks to life-saving gender-affirming care.
And if we don’t stop the court from siding with Tennessee, the Williams family will be thrown back into harm’s way, alongside my son, his friends and youth across America.
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Arizona is a tough place for trans kids like my son, Daniel. Not only does he have to deal with all the normal stressors of being 17, but politicians in our state have also tried to require schools to treat him differently than all his peers by forcing him to use the girl’s restroom or requiring teachers to out him as trans against his will. As a mom, it’s a horrible feeling to have so many people so loudly hate kids like my son. And it puts our family in danger.
All parents should be offended when our leaders put our children’s existence up for debate. They deserve to learn and thrive, and, yes, grow and change — exactly like other high schoolers. But unlike other high schoolers, my child’s bullies have podiums and gavels. And now the demand to strip my son of his healthcare — just because some people don’t believe his identity exists — is going all the way up to the U.S. Supreme Court.
Parents of trans kids are sometimes seen as permissive parents with no backbone. Other times, people think we’re dangerously ideological, indoctrinating our children into believing that they aren’t who they are. The real truth is this: We can’t change who our son is and we simply won’t let anyone else try.
A new study found that teen suicide rates have spiked in every state that has passed an anti-trans law. The Republican politicians targeting our children know this, and they don’t care.
Daniel and trans kids like him have shown us what it means to exist freely in a world that limits us. We let him lead as much as possible, and brought in experts where we couldn’t address his needs alone. And through years of discussion with Daniel’s therapist and pediatrician, we were able to choose gender-affirming care.
There’s nothing flippant about how I make choices about my son’s health and well-being. Daniel’s quality of life has enhanced significantly because he’s been able to access the professional care he needed. And the fact that regret rates for gender affirming care are far lower than for other major surgeries and life events proves that my family is not the only living proof that this careful, quality care works.
Activism is a coping mechanism for me. If I didn’t speak up, I’d have to sit back and let awful and mounting rulings and or legal decisions deal us blow after blow. If we don’t protect our children, we risk losing them. A new study even found that, in every state that has passed an anti-trans law, teen suicide rates have spiked.
The Republican politicians targeting our children know this, and they don’t care.
In America, we love to talk about freedom. But the Supreme Court keeps pushing freedom further and further from our arms’ reach. In the two years since Roe v. Wade fell, I’ve personally learned for the first time what not having bodily autonomy feels like, and it’s devastating. I’m sure other parents will agree.
Decisions like seeking gender-affirming care and abortion are health care decisions that should be made privately between families and their medical teams. I pray that other parents understand what we are fighting for. The Supreme Court must stay out of our personal health care decisions — the life of my son, and the lives of his friends, depend on it.
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